It's My Family
Breaking Cycles of Emotional Harm, Strengthening Voices, Protecting Hearts
It’s My Family is a specialist service providing communication guidance and emotional support to protective parents with challenging co-parents in cases of coercive and controlling behaviour during day to day engagements and child arrangement processes
Summary of Support
At It’s My Family, we support protective parents by ensuring their child’s safety, strengthening communication with challenging co-parents, and creating clear, professional records of interactions and concerns. Our approach helps parents respond confidently, protect boundaries, and make sure patterns of abuse and safeguarding risks are accurately recognised by professionals and courts.
Safeguarding in the Context of Coercive Control
Identify patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and intimidation.
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Highlight safeguarding risks to both parent and child during contact proceedings.
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Ensure concerns are documented and communicated clearly to professionals.
Communication
Tools
Provide guidance for safe, clear, and strategic communication with abusive co-parents.
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Help parents speak with clarity, confidence, and credibility to reduce misrepresentation.
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Offer tools to manage challenging interactions while minimising retraumatisation.
Reports &
Documentation
Produce clear, professional records of interactions and safeguarding concerns.
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Support parents in presenting evidence to professionals and courts effectively.
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Ensure communication patterns and abuse dynamics are accurately reflected to protect the child.
5 Pillars of Communicaton for Protective Parents
The Five Pillars of Communication is a supportive framework used by My Family to help protective parents communicate calmly, clearly, and confidently in challenging situations.
It focuses on building emotional resilience, maintaining emotional stability, setting healthy boundaries, safeguarding children, and developing effective communication skills.
This framework supports parents to feel empowered, heard, and supported while keeping children’s safety and wellbeing at the centre of all child arrangement processes
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Emotional Regulation
Recognising emotional triggers that arise during hostile or manipulative communication
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Pausing to regulate emotions before responding to messages or conversations
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Using calming techniques (breathing, grounding, stepping away) to prevent escalation
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Maintaining emotional control to keep communication safe, brief, and child-focused
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Emotional Resiliance
Withstanding criticism, blame, or intimidation without reacting or internalising it
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Remaining emotionally steady despite repeated patterns of abuse or provocation
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Detaching from attempts to control, guilt, or shame through communication
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Recovering emotionally after difficult interactions and refocusing on wellbeing
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Communicaton Techniques
Keeping communication concise, factual, and limited to child-related matters
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Avoiding emotional explanations, over-justifications, or defensive responses
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Using neutral, non-reactive language to reduce opportunities for conflict
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Setting and maintaining clear boundaries around communication methods and tone
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Self Validation & Personal Growth
Validating your own experiences rather than seeking acknowledgement from others
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Trusting your parenting decisions and lived reality
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Letting go of the need to be understood or agreed with by the other parent
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Using each interaction as an opportunity to strengthen confidence and emotional growth
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Core Support Circle
Leaning on trusted friends, family, therapists, or support groups for perspective
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Processing difficult interactions outside of co-parent communication
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Receiving affirmation and grounding from people who understand the abusive dynamic
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Reducing isolation by maintaining strong, supportive connections
Educational Videos
The latest research and experts in the field of coercive and controlling behaviour inform the interventions used at Its My Family. Our focus is primarily on sharing resources that explain how children are affected by coercive and controlling behaviour, and how the risks remain post-separation.
Experts such as domestic abuse specialists highlight the emotional, psychological, and developmental consequences for children, including anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulty trusting others, and challenges in forming healthy relationships.
Through real-life examples and evidence-based advice, these videos aim to help you, the protective parent, understand and voice concerns about the coercive parent's impact to ensure your children are not placed at greater risk.