Challenging the Silence – Why Family Courts Must Recognise Coercive and Controlling Behaviour

Recent findings in a Home Office independent review (2025) of family court cases have revealed an alarming reality: domestic abuse, particularly coercive and controlling behaviour, is still being minimised or dismissed within child arrangement proceedings. Despite 87% of closed cases and 73% of open cases involving domestic abuse, only 42% were treated as relevant when deciding where a child should live or spend time.

Psychological and emotional abuse — the most frequently reported form — is too often reframed as mere “parental conflict.” Survivors are made to feel that their experiences are irrelevant, discouraged from raising concerns, and pressured to agree to unsafe contact arrangements. Many are told that domestic abuse is not a barrier to contact, while courts and professionals focus more on parental cooperation than on safety.

The report paints a picture of a system struggling under resource pressures, outdated attitudes, and procedural gaps. Fact-finding hearings occur in only 3% of cases, and even when domestic abuse is acknowledged, it is often reduced to isolated incidents rather than seen as a pattern of control. Cafcass and court professionals are left with limited tools and time to investigate, leading to decisions that prioritise contact at any cost — even when this exposes children and protective parents to ongoing harm.

Too many protective parents leave the family court feeling silenced, retraumatised, and unseen. Their children’s voices are often ignored, and orders for unsupervised or overnight contact are made despite clear safeguarding concerns.

At It’s My Family, we believe this cannot continue. Our mission is to raise awareness and challenge the culture of minimisation surrounding coercive and controlling behaviour in the family court system. We provide expert communication mentoring and guidance to help protective parents safely navigate contact with abusive ex-partners and represent themselves with confidence in court.

We aim to shift attitudes — to ensure that coercive control is recognised for what it truly is: a serious form of abuse that endangers both survivors and their children. Through advocacy, education, and practical support, It’s My Family stands beside parents who are fighting to be heard, helping to create a safer and fairer family court process for all.

Reference

Home Office (2025) Everyday Business: Addressing domestic abuse and continuing harm through a family court review and reporting mechanism [online]  Everyday business: Addressing domestic abuse and continuing harm through a family court review and reporting mechanism - GOV.UK